It's Okay to be Not Okay

Assalamualaikum wbt :)

Selamat sejahtera semuanya, may Allah always give His bless for you, amin insyaallah. Buat sesiapa yg belum mengenali si penulis, 'Hye my name is Amal and perhaps you will enjoy reading my blog,' *smile*

Hmm, how I can start yeah? Okey, actually i'm not okey right now, i'm not fine since 4 days ago. Why? Hmm, I hope you dont mind if i want to share some of my sad story *smile*

I have one 'special' friend (faham2 lah ye) and he is very sweet, caring, sincere, happy-go-lucky and hmm cute. (malu) We have been in relationship since 2 years ago. Now i'm already 20 y/o (yeyyy!!) Oh, he's 1 year older than me means he's 21 this year. He lives in Kedah and taking diploma in Masscom ( Media and Communication) at Island College of Technology (ICT), Balik Pulau, Penang for 3 years. He have 2 elder brothers and he is the youngest. In fact, he's very close to his mother, mama Norrani and I really love 'Mommy's Son' actually. We can know how he treat his future wife by looking at how he treat his mom :)

Currently, he is in final semester and yeah, he's been busy for many works to do. So, as a good partner, I have to understand his circumstance. We still keep in touch with each other even just 2-3 messages in one day. At night, we will be on the phone to wish good night. One day, (4 days ago) he's been soo busy for the whole day since morning till up the night. It made me felt a little upset cause i was at home and I hope we can texting or have a line with him. But I have to understand right, so I just waited for him. The clock showed it was 12 am already and I start to worried cause he still didn't give me any text or call. So I called him and sadly he didn't pick up my call. I think I've tried to called him about too many times but still no answer from him. OMG, what happened to him Ya Allah? I just pray that he's in safe and fine. 1 hour passed, he still kept silent. I tried to ask some of his friends but nobody knew where was he. Suddenly my phone was ringing. Oh that was him! Without wasting any times, I picked up the call and tell him about how much I worried about him. Then he just say sorry and told me that his phone was getting low in battery. That is why he didnt pick up my call. I was like, SERIOUSLY ?! JUST BECAUSE OF THAT? And he told me he was at Restoran Kapitan. (in the midnight, i dont know with whom, and what happened when he didnt answer my call) I admit I was sulking on that night cause I dont know why I felt like he was ignoring me and I HOPE HE WILL CALL BACK TO PERSUADE ME. I waited for him till he returned home but what makes me very horrified is, he didn't called me and I dont know when he arrived home. And i'm crying till the morning.

On the next day, at 6.30 am I felt so curious and worried. What happened to him? Is he fine? Still, he didn't pick my call. I think he got a hundred miscall from me I guess. About 10.30 am, finally he answered my call and I heard something wrong with his voice. I ask him, what happened my dear? He told me he was in sick and having gastric. I was shocked. I felt angry, why you just tell me on this time? And in the same time, it makes me felt more worried. I didn't realize that my tears were fell from my eyes on that time. ( why you did like this, do you know how much I worried about you when you ignored my call,) Far in my heart, I was praying that he'll get recover as soon as possible. I get so emotional on that time. .

A couple hours later, I tried to threw out all my sad emotion and tried to call him back to ask about his condition. Start on that time, he DID NOT ANSWER ALL MY CALLS. ANYMORE :( I don't know how many miscalls that he got from me, what I knew, he was ignoring my call and i just got one message from him telling that 'he needs time and space to recover'. Today is the fourth day. . I felt like I've been dumped . . There were lots of things that I didn't know from him, he have to tell me many things . . Cause I'm like the blind without his stick :") I miss him soo much . . I even know where is he right now cause he did not back to his house, that what his friend told me. Oh Allah, please protect him from any dangers and harm, please open his heart to come back to me, I need him :'( After 3 days passed, I have to rise from the gloom day as a bright sunshine ! Even I know that my heart didn't tell so :) IT'S OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY. 

Wallahualam.